Shemini
Can we be fully present in the midst of pain?
Reflection by Or HaLev Teacher Avigail Beeri-Harel:
"In Parshat Shemini, we read about one of the most shocking moments in the Torah. In the midst of the peak experience of the dedication of the Mishkan, the desert Tabernacle, tragedy strikes. Nadav and Avihu, Aaron’s sons, offer strange fire and are themselves consumed as a sacrifice in that fire. Aaron’s response is summed up in two powerful words וַיִּדֹּם אַהֲרֹן, and Aaron was silent (Lev 10:3). Why was Aaron silent, and what can his response teach us about our attitude towards the Mishkan of our lives, which is renewed in every moment?
Midrash connects the death of Aaron’s sons to the verse in Ecclesiastes: `for the same fate is in store for the righteous and for the wicked` (8:2). The Midrash compares the death of Aaron’s righteous sons with the punishment of the people of Korach, the ‘wicked people’ in a later story in Leviticus. Both groups, even though the former were righteous and the latter wicked, lost their lives in similar ways.
What is the appropriate response in the face of such injustice?
Aaron stands in the midst of the injustice and remains silent. In his silence, we hear the limitations of words. Words are meant to explain, to comfort, to give meaning, but sometimes they fall far short of expressing the deep truth of the moment. Our sages understood the power of silence; in moments of loss, Jewish practice instructs the visitor to a house of mourning to remain silent and let the bereaved speak first. If the bereaved chooses to remain silent, the visitors respect the silence, not interrupting with unnecessary words.
The medieval commentator the Ramban interprets Aaron’s silence as an act of equanimity. He says Aaron wept and then fell silent. Understanding his position as a priest and leader, his silence represented an opening into the divine mystery. As the Midrash says elsewhere, `When God speaks, all are silent` (Sifrei Bamidbar). Aaron stopped his words and judgements and listened to the word of God.
Equanimity is the ability to be fully present in the midst of pain without reacting automatically. In such a practice, we expand and allow things to be as they are. While such a position can be interpreted as indifference and detachment, the Hasidic masters taught that Aaron’s silence stemmed from deep love.
Equanimity is an act of love; it is the radical acceptance of life. In his silence, Aaron teaches us that radical acceptance and love are not renunciations of the living or the dead but deeper encounters with all of these, and keys to wiser action in the world. In these difficult days, the Torah shows us the possibility of silence as a safe and sacred space. Silence and equanimity allow for moments in which duality melts into the light of broad recognition. From contact with this place, we are called to return to the world, to serve the sacred in everyday life, as priests and priestesses in the temple of life, living into deeper wisdom and greater compassion."