Weekly Wisdom - Chayei Sarah
by - Michal Fox
In this week's Torah portion, we witness the first Jewish death. In fact, it's here that we learn the customs of giving eulogies and burial. We read in Genesis 23:2:
וַתָּמָת שָׂרָה בְּקִרְיַת אַרְבַּע הִוא חֶבְרוֹן בְּאֶרֶץ כְּנָעַן, וַיָּבֹא אַבְרָהָם לִסְפֹּד לְשָׂרָה וְלִבְכֹּתָהּ.
'And Sarah died in Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan; and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her.' Sarah died in Kiriath-arba, now Hebron, in the land of Canaan, and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.
In our culture, expressing emotions is not always welcomed or esteemed. We ourselves might sometimes fear our own emotions - particularly anger or grief - feeling that if we get in touch with them somehow they will overwhelm us, or that it will start and never end. So we tend to suppress them or hold them in.
And here in our parsha, Abraham sets an amazing example. Among everything else he is or does, Abraham our father is a man who cries, who laments and weeps openly when his beloved dies. He teaches us in this parsha that emotions are actually meant to flow through us, and so be released.
Interestingly, when the Hebrew word valivkota (to weep for her) appears in a Torah scroll, the letter kaf in the middle of the word is written smaller than the other letters in the word. The Torah is using its own body to teach us something - perhaps something that we ourselves must experience somatically, rather than with our rational minds. To me, this diminished letter suggests that when we give ourselves permission to feel and express a strong emotion fully - even our grief - it does not swallow us. It actually brings us in touch with the deepest truth within us.
What would it be like for you this week to take more time to turn inward and fully feel what you feel, or even share that with others?
May your hearts be open.
Shabbat shalom.