Vayigash
What happens when we loosen?
Reflection by Rabbi Dorothy Richman, Or HaLev Teacher
"Vayigash begins in the middle of a family drama that has been unfolding over weeks. This family is troubled and disconnected, having visited violence, deception and intimidation on one another.
For his part, Joseph has been concealing his identity from his brothers. He’s been manipulating them in confusing ways. When his older brother Judah approaches Joseph with care for their youngest brother and aged father, Joseph can no longer keep the charade going. The text tells us, `Joseph could no longer restrain himself (lehitapek)...` (Gen. 45:1). The Hebrew verb for restraint here, lehitapek, means to hold back and control oneself. It is a reflexive verb and its root is aleph-pay-kuf which means horizon. So, lehitapek, to exert extreme control over the self, could be understood as `to make oneself the horizon,` to not see beyond the self, to close boundaries, to disconnect and shut down.
When Joseph no longer restrains himself, what happens? Tears come pouring out, so long and loud, all Egypt hears (Gen. 45:2). Joseph opens his borders, ends his masquerade and, imperfectly, reunites and reconnects with his family.
This scene resonates with my experience in practice. When I come to meditate with rigid ideas of self-restraint and control, I sit with tightness. Nothing will distract me! Nothing will get in! I will be all concentrated focus.
Once I let myself settle, I feel my boundaries soften. Loosening self-restraint allows for release. Having a space to let emotion out allows truth to be seen and spoken which can lead to connection and healing.
After the revelation of Joseph’s identity to his brothers, they are called bnei Yisrael (sons of Israel) for the first time (vs. bnei Yaakov - sons of Jacob). Through actions of care, tears, and speaking the truth, the brothers become something beyond themselves.
Perhaps, in practice this week, we can imagine our own boundaries softening, loosening, and letting our emotions release. We can remember through our practice that we are connected and part of a larger whole. We are not the horizon, we are part of a greater family, people, planet.
May our practice be for a blessing for us and for all."